an island off the island

first off , i realized i havent blogged in a while , i guess thats partly cause ive been really busy and nothing much interesting has been happening for me to fuck on about .

anyway
yesterday my day started with me having to fucking wake up at fucking 8 in the morning on a fucking saturday to go to school for lit . We were having a combined class for E1 by Miss Tan to finish up our syllabus . Wah fuck la , Kassandra Lee Shuen lied to me ... she told me she couldn't act . Despite my constant protests that she could , she always said she couldnt , but fuck la , she delivered those 10 odd lines better than i could have . SWEE LA
hahahaha
Aaron mafucka if your reading this , you stupid cock why didnt you turn up man .
Noone informed colin , so hopefully he fails and gets retained or dies . who the fuck cares ?

After that i went to holland village for lunch and after leaving them i went home . Herman asked me to go to the beach with him . I contemplated that for while seeing as how i havent been to fucking siloso beach in like a million years and my body is fucking unshapely right now . So in the end i decided to go , took a cab down and walked like a fucking mile to meet herman , jonmi and the boonster .

When Herman said he wanted to go to the beach , i said why , ive already got a natural tan in case you havent realized . To which the cockhead replied , what thing natural tan ? Dont you mean rare incurable disgusting skin affliction ? FUCK YOU MAN
hahahahaha
those 3 fuckers were tanning their balls off and when i got there i managed to convince them to get off their lazy asses to play some soccer. damn beach soccer is fucking fun la .
The worst part of the beach is the fact that there are lots of fucking fat and ugly and just plain motherfucking disgusting people wearing next to nothing . We obviously made it a point to point and laugh at these fortunate fuckers .

Later on we finally decided to go to the ACTUAL court and play against some people there , we lost by a narrow margin of 2-1 lmfao . Beach soccer is extremly fucking violent and painful for those of you who havent played it , it looks 10x worse than what you see on tv .

from here
lets speed up a bit

jon hid my fucking limited edition zooyork shoes under a fucking cone in sand
that motherfucker
good thing i found it

the people who played after us nearly got into a gang fight
it was 4v4 soccer
but they had like 20 people on EACH side backing them
lamers

okay back to regular speed
we went to the public showers and to be honest with you , its the first time ive seen so many fucking cocks and asses all around . And fuck , ive watched a hell lot of porn .
Its like these dicks had no dicknity at all , they were just bathing right there in the nude and scrubbing themselves . Crazy fuckers . The other 3 fellas were quite amused and my amusement and proceeded to make fun of me . Aiya those fuckers also were too scared to take off their pants in front of all these fuckers also . In the end we somehow showered with our beach shorts and changed out and proceeded to town.

After dinner/betting/etc etc etc , we proceeded to HOHO's house to watch soccer . Damn hoho's a good guy la , we always invite ourselves to his house and he never complains la . Fuck . Then his mom got pissed . Fuck la . Sorry HoHo.
Anyway JJ was already there with his pet scorpion .
WHAT THE FUCK MAN WHY DID HE BRING IT IM SO FUCKING SCARED OF IT !
"ITS STING CAN KILL A BULL"
for fucks sake im smaller than a bull i dont want to fucking die bro ..

Boon suddenly took an interest in rare and exotic animals and wanted to buy some scorpions and spiders too . The irony is that boons a rather rare and exotic animal too , the red faced baBOON . HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHHA
Then when hoho was telling boon all about the maintanence and how hard it was to raise one these little fuckers , boon was like so shocked . I think he expected it to be like .
1) Me Buy
2) It Grow
3) It kill people
4) me king of world

And when ho cjuan said its sting was poisonous . Boon said , so if it stings me , will i become poisonous . hahahahahahahhaha
boon booon boon ...
fucking idiot lol


swerly
haha

dont let people walk over you

swerly
first off , lup sup bar = dirty bar for all those people who were asking
secondly , in case you haven't already figured out , i'm an extremely vulgar person but in order to not sound like Rockson Takumi Tan , i'm gonna cut out the bengness . I'm swer i can still be pretty funny .

Today i had a fucking tennis match in a tennis competition . First of fucking all , i had to go all the fucking way to kallang for it . Like what the fuck , who the fuck holds a national tennis competition in the fucking east ? The west must have too many fucking good players and they want to keep them away . Good thing my mom sent me la . When we got there , i was still early so i was sitting around and watching some of the other competitors. Some of them were pretty fucking good , and they were'nt even in my division . Then there was this Indian fuckhead la , who brought along his whole fucking family . After his match he was sitting next to me , and the fucking idiot obviously hadnt had enough water to drink , he wanted to spit , but he was too fucking stupid to spit properly , he ended up with one fucking long chain of spit that was like flying all around - dumbfuckingass . He looked really funny and stupid trying to make that spit go to the floor .
Then there was this malay dude , another fucker who brought his whole fcking family , except in this case his family had like 20 people . One was takign pictures of him with a DIGITAL camera - woofuckinghoo. The rest of his family were like fucking have a picnic there .
Anyway by this point it was about time for my match , so i go up to the tournament desk and ask , " so is Nicholas Lim here yet ? " and the lady says no , if hes not here by the time we get a vacant court , you get a walkover . WHAT THE FUCK MAN . I come all the fucking way to kallang for a fucking walkover . Fuck this shit man . Then i was talkign to someother fella i knew , and he said lucky i got a walkover , this Nicholas fucker is the Under16 champion playing one category above . I was like fuck you la , i will fucking beat his balls anyway man .
In the end i got a fucking walk over la . Fucking playing the fucking 3rd seed in the next round man. Gonna fuck his balls up .

Anyway I'm fucking tired today , so I'm gonna leave it at this .
swerly

Of Lup Sup And Chinois

This is my first post
This is going to be a funny blog
This is also going to be very informative

Friday was Boon's birthday (not like anyone cared) , coincidentally we were going out for the night. Boy's fucking night out indeed . We decided to go to Club Chinois since we couldnt really think of anywhere else to go , jj's mom got us 2 tables and we thoroughly fucking enjoyed the experience.
First it was the fucking chairs , knnccb the chairs were like meant for a fucking treebeard la .
Next was the DE NAO waiter , the idiot fucking was so amused by us la . Knn he's never seen polite boys before is it , he kept laughing and smiling cause we were the only decent cbs in the place to actually say " can we PLEASE have another menu ? " . There were eight of us and eight chairs . Just as we were about to eat , fucking boon calls and says hes here already ( he was supposed to only come at like 9 to drink with us ) , the fucker was like , eh i is here liao . And we're like wtf , how now , this kind of place where can pull chair . Fucking hell , boon actually asked the guy to pull a chair for him , sibei paiseh sia ..

Marcus me jj and duane were at one table , fucking hell la , we ate like fucking pigs , i spent 70 bucks on myself alone ..
At the other table was herman , hoho , jon , constans and boon hahaha . budget table sia
fucking herman was damn toolan cause they didnt give his table any free complimentary octopussy appetizer hahahaahahhahaha

after dinner herman's table proceeded to fucking mcdonalds hahahahahaa lmfao .
then when were there , we were wondering what to do , we couldnt go into the bar we had planned to , Chico's . Apparently on that fucking night the fucking Finnish bastards of Singapore decided to have their get together . We walked in and we were like , wtf , why so crowded and why all angmoh .Then we told one of the waitresses , " can we have a table for 8 " and she was like .. " SIRS YOU CANT BE IN HERE ITS A PRIVATE PARTY I'M SORRY YOU NEED TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW "
OK LA KNN , not our fault you leave all the fucking doors open and paste one tiny-print-from-computer sign on one door all the way at the back.

Anyway back at Mcdonalds , we began talking about Rockson ( hahahah that fucker is damn funny sia ) , and then immediately the topic moved to LUP SUP BARS . All the fuckers became Lup Sup Siao la ... Then all so swa ku dunno where to go for Lup Sup also , then we said lets try orchard towers la , even sum41 also been there , except they call it the angmoh name , four floors of whores .

fuck sia we went there like a fucking tranny suprise la . chicks with dicks and sluts with nuts everywhere sia. But fuck la , they were hotter than half the girls you see on orchard road .
In the end we see the bouncers face all damn toolan we decided better just go Mohammed Sultan just drink and be done la . BUT NO , by this point too Lup Sup Siao already , ended up calling one of boon's friends who said joo chiat is a damn good place to go la , so we fuckign wait 10 million years for a cab and we get into the cab . I told jj before already , this kind of shit ask taxi driver is best la , those fuckers whole day also do this kind of shit .
FUCK LA , our taxi driver was some fucking horny ccb la , he told us you go lup sup you can touch the girls as much as you want then you jsut give them some tips . Then he also said we are very handsome young men and dont be surprised if the lup sup girls rape as cause they are only used to fucking lau ah peh lanjiao . Then we ask the fucker taxi driver how far is joo chiat , knn the bastard lie to us la , say near near near , go there fucking 12 bucks cab la , knn go home after fucking 30 bucks cab .. CB KIA . Then jj said to the fucker uncle , " uncle take us to a place thats QUITE lup sup , but not TOO lup sup , as long as its lup sup enough can liao"
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA


We went there , we like swa ku walk into some techo siao ah beng bar with bar top dancing .
The moment we walk in the bar top dancers stop dancing . knn la .
we ordered some beers and just talk for a while.
After that we walk down the road until we found the REAL lup sup bar .
Wah we went in then went to the room , this ugly cb bitch say the room rate is free la so all very excited.
Knn go into the room i sit there fucking stone la . Duane mothercheebye 14 year old fucker damn happy la , groping his PRC mei mei so much . Then one by one all the fellas get girls , the standard like shit a bit la , but not totally dog useless la . I just sat there , then fucking 2 lau aunty come and sit next to me la knn . Fucking hell , the whole place noone of the lup sup girls can speak english la knn .Then the 2 lau aunty start hugging me la . KNN LA .
Aiyoh .. suffice to say by the end of the night my dick was gonna drop off la
Wah fuck then must pay somemore , cb , gave one bitch 10 , then no more money liao , the other one fucking keep patting my leg ask me pay her more , cb kia i gave her 4 bucks HAHAHAHAHA .
After that when we wanna zhao fucking funny la , boon had 2 girls , he spent 15 minutes with one and gave her 20 bucks . HAHA then he had no more money to pay the girl who spent the whole night with him . HAHAHAHAHA . the girl dont wanna let him go , just hold onto him and boon walk out and drag her . Finally dunno who call the bouncer , the bouncer scold the prc mei mei tell her to fuck off and boon came out . Then we walk like 10 million miles to ATM , all no money to take fucking cab back .

Wah fuck man , when we got there , the place was like fucking haunted la with vagrants sleeping everywhere . Then near the chinese altar we saw this little boy there playing with some car . WAH FUCK LA WE THOUGHT IT WAS A GHOST LA . 3 am in the morning one 2 year old kid playing by himself in this kind of fucked up place. Wah heng siao we saw his mother after that come out from behind the altar .

After withdrawing then we all took cab back home la , fuck sia , damn tired and fucking pok kor liao already . But fun la , hanging out with brothers always fun la . At least some of them had alot of fun la so it was a good night .Swerly