drunken stupor

shit
i do stupid stuff when im drunk . like write this entry . my first drunken entry

fucking hell man , i do so much stupid shit when im not even drunk , can you imagine the fucking nonsense i do when im drunk .
last night was jj and jon's party at newsroom bar with zacharias :)
fucking . cheebye . if i catch any of you fuckers dropping the price again i will personally come and fucking stab you with my ticket la understand . fucking fuckers drop the price to spoil the market . u fucking stupid dont now how to earn commission must stop other people from earning also is it uf fucking cocksucker fuckfaces . shit piss cunt cock motherfuckers

and there are other fuckers also think its damn funny to steal customers when i turn my back. fuck you understand . not funny . dont pretend . next time dont give face already

i was talking to duane this morning about last night
and duane was telling me how i should never bring girls i like to parties we organize cause we'll neglect them .
so i said to duane . aiyo duane . but i cant even get girls i like to come to any party still need to talk about NOT bringing them meh . fuck you understand .

im beginning to really hate clubbing
its fucking expensive and pointless
and the end of the day theres no self gratification , maybe cause im just not with the right people , dancing with marcus and herman at the last 5 parties can take its toll on you . Together with aaron in school and add in some contributing female factors , i swear i might be turning gay . i like to slap ruiwen's ass .. AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

in my depressed-drunken state i jumped into the fountain and walked around like a twat . what the fuck lol ?

fuck la
this entry sucks
im drunk and this isnt at all funny

i better start preparing for a mega super giganto coolio constable boon entry next

swerly.. sigh

swerly man

You know life is a fucking mother fucking shit piss cunt motherfucker bitch . I wish I could slap life a good one , but life’s not quite like that . Sometimes in life things fuck up and you don’t always get the things you want . No matter how fucking badly you want them , or how fucking good your intentions are .Sometimes you cry and piss and make a big deal out of it and moan like a wilderbeast . Other times you take a knife , hold it to your wrists and just as your about to slit them say “ fucking hell , I know whats wrong with me ! “ and slit your penis off (guys only la ) . Sometimes you just stand on the roof of your school and want to be alone from everyone , with all the peace . You get a little adventurous and climb around a bit , you fall down and die (obviously) and everyone says you committed fucking motherfuck suicide cause you were on the roof in the first place . Sometimes you just pick yourself and move on to better things . I’m pretty fucking pissed with life now , everyone is at some point , just to varying degrees . But fuck la aiyoh all my fans expecting to see some coolio amigo funny shit entry come and see this kinda pussy ass faggot shit … not good man … so sometimes you need to just smile and bear with it all and hope it all goes away , try to spend time away from your problems and just pray pray pray that everything works out cause you know you know someday something will click and you’ll get what you want . Obviously consuming large portions of alcohol on a nightly basis helps to get you to sleep . And no I am not talking about myself getting retained . IMO retaining aint no big shit , ive seen so many friends of mine retained . Just look at the bald bastard haan hui , he was a fucking retainee before but he did so much better than me for promos . So retaining is no big shit , whoever got retained just fucking relax la . Have a bit of fun in the next 5 mths and maybe retaining wont be so bad for you . Retaining has been pretty alright for me seeing how I did jackshit the whole year . Some people say your wasting a year . But ill never look at it that way , ive made some of the best friends ever and met the most amazing people who’ve had a tremendous FUCKING GIGANTIC impact on my life . I guess its time I grew up anyway and became more mature and stopped acting like a 12 year old . Eh but you all don’t need to run away from my blog yet la , im still going to be the same fucker who scolds everyone fuck 20 times in a sentence . So FUCKING RELAX AND STOP CRYING LA AND DON’T PRETEND YOUR NOT CRYING LA YOU LYING FUCKERS I KNOW THIS WAS REALLLY SAD

HAHAHAHAHAHA

don’t worry la ill still be funny even if im not so fine :)

anyway now the nonsense is over , lets get to the serious stuff

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KASSANDRA !!!!!

after everything you didn’t think id forget THIS right ?

ok

CSI:Malaysia

CSI as you all know is a really popular and fucking cool show .

The show takes place in several areas , Las vegas Miami and New York . For those of you that don’t know , its about forensics in these really fucking cool cases . Obviously for those of you that have watched CRIME WATCH , TRUE FILES , and oh my fucking god , Triple 9 with james lye hahahaha , you will know that Singaporean criminal cases are just TOO fucking cool for vegas,Miami and newyork and therefore are too cool to write about . However just across the causeway ( where u can sometimes still get Singapore reception for your handphone or your radio ) theres Malaysia !

The fucking huge country that pretty much looks like a jungle with some roads and highways running right through the middle . When your driving down the highway on both sides you trees .Sometimes some cows and farmers but that’s it . Occasionally these roads fork out and lead to these places that have real civilization – OMG really ?

Malaysia is so fucking big that you can pretty much get away with any except being a bad muslim . No im fucking serious , you can murder someone and get away with it , but If you do something against the religion of islam they’ll fuck you up right away. Shows just how good the religious police is and how fucking useless the regular police is .

If you murder someone in Malaysia , HOW THE FUCK are they going to find out you did it huh ? Theres so many fucking jungles … you just throw the body somewhere there and the body will just disappear . One of the forest people (boon’s family) will start feasting on the corpse and then everyone else will join in hahahaha . In Singapore if you tried that , some fucking extra idiot with nothing better to do would go hiking in some FUCKING remote part of the jungle for fuck knows what and suddenly see a hand coming out of the ground and SCREAM like a pussy ! Malaysia their all too used to seeing hands and legs and heads lying every where . What do you think they eat with all that fucking rice they grow ?

Aaron was telling me you can just stab someone or fucking bash up someone and the police cant do anything to you . What the fuck man , if its really like that means they should invite Konami to have their King of Fighters 2006 Tournament in Malaysia and then all those coolio characters they have in their game can just take all those funny looking pai kias with green and pink hair .

Imagine going to the police in Malaysia and saying your best friend was murdered .

you : hi I’d like to make a police report , my friend was murdered by some gangsters

police “officer” 1 : 200 rm

you : um no I don’t want to buy anything I just want to make a police report

police “officer” 1 : 200 rm

you : err . why are you asking me for money to do your job

police “officer” 1 : 200 rm

You : what the fuck do you want 200rm for ?

police “officer” 1 : coffee

you : wtf . even starbucks isn’t that expensive la bro …

police “officer” 2 : PAY !

police “officer” 1 : yes must pay !!!

you : fuck you guys what kinda useless shit head police officers are you guys !!!

police “officers” in unison : HANTAM DIA !!!!!! ( whack him !! )

they start bashing poor you up for insulting a police officer

after their done they ask you to pay 400 rm EACH for the beating .

obviously you refuse . They decide your useless destroyed mangled shattered broken battered bruised body is too useless to pound on and they whisper to each other about what horrible cruel thing they can do to you .

they tie you up standing up and make you face a wall with a picture that’s covered with padlocks / curtains and fucking a lot of other things . You think their going to bash the shit out of you again . They both run out of the room and put on protective goggles and suits . They then open that picture.

OMG … ITSS .ITSSS .ITSSS ………BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON !!!!!!

obviously you suffer in terrible horrible agony from staring only at that fucking fucked up face of a tuft hair baboon from Swaziland and sometimes Congo .

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

disclaimer : the Malaysian police in real life are actually really cool and probably do their jobs really well . This sorta thing could probably happen in any country other than Singapore . Why ? Cause Singapore’s police is just too damn cool man . You slap your wife , they get 10 guys to slap your dick till its bleeding . That’s how they fuck you . Don’t mess with the Singapore police . And don’t do drugs and gangs you stupid motherfucker , they will fuck you EVEN harder and faster and in more places and by more people for doing shit like that .

I’m sure most of you have read that fucking stupid comic in primary school about Constable Acai ( I think it was really Ah Chai ) . Next time I’ll write about Constable Boon . hahahahahahahahaha

swerly man

i think i just might be insane

fuck man
today i feel like shit , rather i feel like shitting
actually i SHAT quite fucking alot sia

went to eat chicken rice with marcus and aaron today . after eating i was like , eh aaron ill give u 5 bucks to eat 5 spoons of ginger . And aaron was like YOU EAT LA.
so i said okay . 5 bucks ill eat 10 spoons of chilli . those cheapskate mother fuckers .. said 1 dollar each for me to eat 10 spoons . fuckers 2 dollars only
so i was damn bored so i was like OKAY LA SWERLY LA
then i started eating it and OMFG the vinegar in the chilli kept making me feel like puking la what the fuck . By the 5th spoon i was dying la omg .. i couldnt even drink my fucking NEW ICE COLD UNOPENED ICE LEMON TEA ( THAT BASTARD MARCUS KEPT IT AWAY FROM ME ). My eyes were tearing like mad and mucus(haha no not marcus !!!) was streaming out of my nose . And then i finally finished it and CHIONGED DOWN MY ICE LEMON TEA. OMG my entire fucking throat and chest were like totally cleared la . swerly such a good remedy hahaha

fucking felt damn shitty like shitting the rest of the day

we then went to wisma atria to buy earrings and shit . And there lester and duane met up with us . We were feeling rather bored . So they dared me to do some shit . So i was supposed to go right into the middle of wisma and climb ontop of a chair and shout I HAVE BIG BALLS !
so the idiots watched from one floor up , i went there and this old lady gave me this really disapproving look . without looking at anyone else , i just shouted it , I HAVE BIG BALLS !!!

i heard those crazy motherfuckers laughing from all the way down there . I took the escalator up and i could only see aaron . The other 3 idiots were sprawled across the fucking floor laughing like fucking crazy mother hyenas . Marcus had taken a video of the whole thing . lmfao

I did the same thing again at taka, the BIG open area near the fountain . And again i got paid
fucking funny la . those idiots found this so fucking amusing .

later on as we were walking this singh dude was walking with his 2 friends and as he walked past us he said , eh thats the pua chee bye school
FUCK YOU UNDERSTAND
i dont like my school but you fucking not happy come settle la knn
he had walked off before could confront
but SWEE la later on we saw him again , this time saw us he whispered something to his friend again . Straight away aaron and me turn around to go find him tio tio tio tio tio tio . fuck la but dunno where that idiot disappeared to . fuck you understand dont anyhow say shit about oldham's school okay fucker cannot get in then say so la you pua chee bye fuckface motherfucker doggie cock sucker .

duane thinks hes damn cool cause he bought some converse chucks
the lamer wanted me to blog about his stupid shoes
wtf man

and duane says nicole ann leong is useless piece of trash monkey cunt fucking short fuck ugly ass skanky whore shit piss cunt motherfucker tranny surprise bitch ( okay i added some of it myself ) .
duane .. why so angry man , i dont even know who she is , but fun to scold people la

duane .. say it with me . calm your rage ... SWERRRRR-LEEEEEEE

hahahahahahaha


all of you have heard of everybody loves raymond and csi : miami / vegas / ny / antartica / africa but now your going to experience 2 revolutionary new programmed from the SwerTv network .
Everybody hates chelsea
CSI: Malaysia

swerly coming soon sia

swerly hahaha

gluttony is not a sin

it seems ive actually got quite a few fans but my number one fan would most likely have to be duane . Why the fuck i dont understand . I cant understand why someone would want to read endlessly about how fucking treebeard/gorilla like they are everyday , unless maybe they get some kind of sick sexual satisfaction from it ... duane . you sick motherfucker ... duane msgs me everyday and says . EH . BLOG .
fuck you man , thanks for being my number one fan ( now i dont need to be a superman ) , but fuck la my life isnt that interesting for me to blog EVERYDAY .
but i will try to blog more and yet remember that if i give you too much of this gooooooooood stuff , very soon it'll become fucking mundane .
hehe

fuck
thursday i was supposed to go drinking with aaron , ruiwen and jevan hahaha.
but we decided to go hang around at gotham .
somehow i ended up buying a ticket , so aaron and me tried to get in , in bermudas .
haha the bouncer was like , can i see your id ? Then we were like , sorry no id . Then he said , sorry i cant let you in then . FUCK MAN . That night i was fucking bounced like a basketball la FUCK . I got bounced like 5 times . I tried everything except putting on a wig and humping the bouncer's leg to get in ... Then WHAT THE FUCK , the bouncer threatened to call his bouncer friends to whack me up cause i was pissing him off by giving him a hard time by trying to constantly get in . fuck man . what the fuck la , i just wanted to go in also kaopei so much la ..
looks like he needs to visit www.adultbouncer.com
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaahahah


friday sucked big time so lets ignore friday

saturday

woke up at hoho's house
went home and slept some more
we went for dinner at the "new" temporary newton circus
fuck man newton is a damn nice place to eat la . theres so much shit to eat .
ok gluttony is so fucking not a sin la okay . Cause swerly im a good boy and i dont fucking sin , but i fucking eat alot . I ate like TONS of food at newton , and when we went to Balmoral , i ate EVEN more , a burger , waffles , fries hahaha .. fuck its a wonder im not a tua pui kia .
at newton it was fucking funny man , the horny ah peh selling us stingray saw that jj had a dvd on the table with him and he came to ask us what it was . then jj said it was an RA dvd . And the uncle got damn excited he wanted to see the cover and find out where jj got it and all hahahahahaha. Then this other uncle came running and said , WHO GOT A-R DVD .. HAHA
wtf man

after that i went with wei leang and howie to wala wala in holland v to drink and watch soccer .
fuck jermaine jenas la okay , tottenham sucks shit and they didnt deserve to get jackshit . Fuck you fucking spur bastards . Wei leang was trying to be IORI YAGAMI - MR KING OF FIGHTERS . He was teaching me how to fight under the hdb block at holland v. And i think i broke howie's finger after that hahaha.
we sat there while waiting for the rain to stop and talked about worldofwarcraft and girls .
damn

this is all i can write , im really exhausted

swerly

from a noxious vile toxic wasteland

as you've probably guessed from the title , this blog entry is being typed on location in malaysia .

i woke up today at like fucking 9 15 and i was supposed to go for drama , but i was so fucking stoned and tired and sleepy from the night before i just totally couldnt get out of bed to go . So later on when i got up at like 12 plus , had lunch and fucking bummed around till about 3 when i went to meet ruiwen in town .Aaron was gonna pick us up from the causeway , that lazy mother fucker , didnt want to drive in and pick us up , so we fucking had to go all the way to Kranji and take 170 . FUCK . From orchard its at like the fucking other fucking end la . So decided to be like boon and be an expert at public transport and take a bus to balmoral and change to 170 from there . After waiting fucking hell long , the bus finally came. When we got on the fucking bus , OH MY FUCKING GOD !!! The bus smelled so fucking CHEEBYE bad la . It was like fucking walking into a room with rotting corpses and rotting shit and boon . The people taking the bus all seemed to be weirdos also . There was this crazy bitch old lady and her crazy bastard husband who had individual seats slightly apart from each other . They were fucking reminiscing their japanese occupation war time childhood by playing fucking musical chairs . They were changing seats with each other like every fucking time the bus stopped . Fuck you understand ! Sit the fuck down . The bus ride was so fucking agonizing , it was so long , and when we finally walked off the bus i could have fucking kissed a plant for oxygen . The smell was so fucking bad i think id lost my sense of smell .

As we walked from the customs checkpoint , we noticed just how fucking filthy dirty smelly and useless the place was , there were beggars and homeless people everywhere. All you people that fucking have a problem with the PAP , fuck you understand . Travel to malaysia and you'll seriously appreciate the PAP more . Malaysia is pretty much fucked . Fuck man , id rather give up some liberties and live in a fucking clean and propserous country rather than to still have limited liberties and live in a fucked up corrupted backward country . We really should be grateful and thankful for our government .

We drove around in aarons car and fooled around and did stupid things the whole night haha.
AARON TAM IS A FUCKING COCKHEAD I TELL YOU.
FUCK YOU UNDERSTAND AARON TAM .
i swear aaron either has no brains at all , or balls the size of coconuts .
He drove into a fucking cemetery , almost into a haunted abandoned fucking hell scary looking house , sped like a crazy fucker and basically tried to get us killed or possessed the whole night .
We went to this bar to watch soccer and SWEE , chelsea were losing 1-0 at halftime .By the way , FUCK BOLTON . Useless trailer trash monkey ass skanky whores , lost 5-1 in the end .
The bar was at the top of a shopping centre, and at the ground floor , there was a furniture exhibition . We stole a chair and put it into the staircase landing haha . The place was totally unguarded . So later on we came back and tried to steal a sofa to block the road in the carpark haha . Alex jumped onto a bed and the entire bed BROKE . HAHA ! Just as aaron and me were carrying the sofa the security guard came running shouting at us . We RAN all the way to the car . Alex was so nervous he knocked his car against the walls like 3 times HAHA . lucky for him it only hit the tyres.

Aaron then took us to some stretch of shops selling food and oddly motorcycle parts . And insead of stopping , he took us to a really isolated backalley right next to the jungle to look for trannys hahaha. Yeah , chicks with dicks and sluts with nuts , broads with rods . HAHA .

-sideplot-
AARON JUST SHOVED RUIWENS 50 BUCKS INTO HIS UNDERWEAR !!!!
The 2 faggot weaklings are high as hell after like 1 beer and slapping each others cocks rolling around the bed in their underwear . Ruiwen just "fired" the hairdryer at aarons balls and aaron said , EH MY SPERMS DYING LA !!!
ruiwen is sniffing aaron's pillow and bed , and asking if this is the same bed where aaron had sex and whether he cleaned it up after that . Aaron just said he masturbates on his bed and it dries up by morning .
Aaron just started humping ruiwen
fucking faggots
-end side plot -

anyway , we went to look for the trannys and we got a tranny surprise . hahahahahahha
there werent any trannys tonight.the religious police were raiding the area hahahaha.
tranny surprise indeed

fucking hell man
fucking aarons house is a mosquito plantation

shit im damn sleepy and too tired to write anymore .

more in a few days

swerly man

a night ( and morning ) to remember

yesterday we planned to go to IndoChine for tipsy and to get tipsy .

I met jj at far east plaza in the evening , and he was getting another angkong . Fuck man . Too much money la that fucker . Some people like me living from hand to mouth , fucking stealing toilet paper from the public toilets and selling on the streets . Speaking of which , you know those hand towels they give at restaurants that costs like 30cents ? I saw this fucking fuckface old man selling those at a pasar malam , like from so many different restaurants , fucker fuckface sell this kinda lame shit .
Anyway , so i watched jj get his new red/black phoenix and spoke to Jude ( my tattoo artist) and Boon ( not the animal ) , another artist at the shop . So Jude took a look at my tattoo and he said i might as well do my touch up now , so i said okay . Fuck man , fucking long time i hadnt felt the pain of the needle . The parts which were fleshy were fine , pain but a sort of pleasant bearable pain . Fuck man , my tattoo goes up to my shoulder , and at the joint it hurts so fucking much la fuck . Every fucking time it hits the bone can fucking die la the whole fucking skeleton starts to vibrate . fuck man

so after id done my touch up , while waiting for jj to finish , i was discussing with jude what tattoo i should get next . Ive decided to be more careful about choosing this time , the pain when the needle hits the flesh is quite bearable , but i cant take it when its against the bone . So ive decided to get a red/black mess star on my chest AND the one im particularly looking forward to : a polynesian shark design which Jude found and that he hasnt done for anyone else yet , on my shoulderblade . hehehehe : )

So anyway after jj got his tattoo we walked around far east abit , and jj bought this cap for like 10 bucks . Fucking seriously too ooi lui , 10 minutes later he was like , eh fuck sia i dont really like this cap la , you want it ? LOL

Herman couldnt be with us cause he had some problem with his eye , probably tried to pull his dick all the way from his crotch and fuck his eye .
Anyway Herms , get better sia bro , and noone can ever replace you man , fucking serious for swer man .

So we went for dinner once the rest of us arrived , we went to crystal jade at scotts and it was FUCKING funny i tell you . There was this lady who was like so fucking excited about taking the fucking orders . She was like jumping around like a jack rabbit . She could barely speak english but chose to speak in english to us despite the fact that everyone besides me ( and marcus hahahaahahahahaha ) could speak chinese . And the fellas also damn stupid , they spoke to her in english and noone understood what was going on . Thank goodness she was only taking orders for drinks . Later on when i ordered a second drink , i called her and said , hi aunty can i have a coke ? Then she said , swer can can 1 coke . Then she came back 2 minutes later . So yes you called me how can i heptch you ? fuck sia .. must be boon's relative

After that we walked to Wisma and waited outside Indochine.Holy shit it was fucking funny sia , on one side were all the goody goody gum drop fellas who looked like they were going to die of fright from looking at us . Then on the other side was us , all so fucking huge , tall , well dressed like triad members , and pai kia looking .

Our side : Their Side

What to do : What NOT to do

Swee Swee hairstlyes : centre parting combed by mummy
Angkong Siao Siaos : Glitter stickers
handsome cs god faces( boon had'nt arrived yet ) : fuckfaces for life
LOL
lucky for them could go in without id at the starting part or else fuck spider already sia .

When we were inside , we opened a bottle of Absolut and therefore got a table to sit .
Fuck man , alcohol is so fucking expensive there la . 210 bucks for 1 bottle of Absolut . Can fucking buy from malaysia for 40 bucks la . fucking 500% price increasing motherfucking bastards . Then , BOON made his long awaited arrival . Everyone turned , pointed and laughed ! AHAHAHAHAHA . Boon had a cooolio amigo spider fucker hairstyle . Imagine a crew cut with hair still left around the bump area on your head ( the back top of your head ) . Fucking funny man . Trying to rejoin his long lost cousins , the tuft-haired baboons of swaziland .


Wah , then there was this guy who was like dancing with lester's girlfriend , straight away all of us CHIONG SUA to defend the honour of our brother's not-so-fair maiden . In the end turned out she was fucking drunk la . The guy saw us all also so fucking scared . paiseh la

Wah then there was one FUCKING big tai ji at the back near the taxi stand sia. Fucking tai ji fest la . All kinds of lamers doing all kinds of weirdo shit la , think very cool blow smoke , scold scold . Aiseh , inside the party not enough hot girls so very boring must come outside find trouble with people , somemore they only had like 2 or 3 people and they find trouble with like 50 people la . swerly too cool for school already

lol then ccb , all the fucking ppl so fucking drunk lying around like beggars on the floor outside indochine . Fuck you understand , if you wanna fucking drink then dont fucking puke all over the fucking floor and lie around here and there la fuckfaces . You fucking puke then the old aunty earning fucking only 900 bucks a month fucking gonna break her back cleaning up your fuckface puke . Fuck you understand dont know how to puke nicely in the sink or toiletbowl ah .
Better still dont fucking drink la , dont even fucking club la motherfuckers , just stay home and braid your sister's hair and drink vitagen la .

Ay , after that we went to eat mcdonalds , and then all dispersed home . FUCKING 4 am already you know . hanging out with my brothers is always fun sia .

swerly man

back with a bang ... and no i dont mean sex

ahhhhh
promos are almost over and ive been away from my blog for so long
havent had much exciting stuff to fuck on about

anyway
last night i did , although this entry might be a bit vague and skip here and there cause i was pretty wasted

after my fucking mother dog hard SEA exam , i took a bus with kassandra to meet herman at the bus stop outside his house . She was like . HERMAN LOOKS REALLY BENG YOU KNOW . yes la i know , everyday also see this sort of tua pai kia . Then she got off and herman and me talked about old times ( anything more than 2 weeks ago ) and we changed buses to go to Junction 8 .
now i bet your wondering , why the fuck were we going to Junction 8 ?
no we were not going on a fucking cultural immersion program
we were actually meeting for dinner as jj was working nearby .

So anyway , herman and me were there early so we decided to walk around a bit (faggots)
we walked around like a milllion fucking shops and the place was really quite beng/lian la , long time havent fucking come to bishan . Then i said to herman , eh u notice im in school uniform right ? Then herman said , yeah thats why i had to dress down lor .
HAHA fucker
We finally met the rest of the fellas and we AGAIN walked around somemore. They went to smoke and after that as we were going up the escalator to eat , duane had arrived hahaha
we all were shouting
EHHH DUANE !!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUANEEEE !!!
DUANE SO HANDSOME !!!!
DUANE LIKES EILEEN !!!!
hahahahahahahaahaahahahhaahha

since it was duane's birthday and we totally forgot , we were wondering what to get him . JUST THEN , we walked past .. ACTION CITY hahaha
then we stopped by the row of those put-money-twist-and-the-toy-comes-out-in-a-small-thing machines .
Then herman said eh , duane , you want ? we buy for you
LOL then everyone of us was like eh duane eh duane we buy for you la
then duane - fucker cheebye 15 year old bastard so excited by this kinda lame shit
he was like I WANT THE THIS ONE I WANT THAT ONE !!
so cute sia
then we ended up buying duane 3 of those shits
and he was fucking happy
but fuck la , my brother i only bought him some lame shit thing that was a police car ( duane wanted the double decker bus )
so must buy duane something nice today la
hahahahaha herman in the end said all that but he didnt buy , he said he contributed the idea and that was good enough , haan hui didnt EVEN buy hahahah . he said he was giving moral support lol ..

after that we went to eat teppan -yaki and although quite BUD-GET it was quite nice and not yucky at all sia
then after - smoke again
fucking hell smoke smoke smoke smoke , fucking forest fires and chimneys all around me

After that we didnt really know what to do , there wasnt much to do at J8 .
Marcus suggested watching a movie but right away herman was OI ! NINE FIFTY YOU KNOW.
HAHA

so we decided to go to the coffeeshop to drink la
then we went there the signs at the shop were all fucking funny la
Heineken beer was - Heneniken beer hahahaha
Outside Foods And Drinks is not allowed to consume in this premises
HAAHAHAHAHAH
So we ordered a few bottles of beer and we drank . Then we saw this sign behind us for Ribena.
Buy 2 pkts get one free
1 pkt = 1.50
Then herman was like . swee la . ask your mother to drive here every sunday and buy .
but there was like a timing , 9am to 1pm only lol . this kind of lame shit also they got .
As we started to drink more , we obviously got more drunk . The beer was so fucking cheap .
1 bottle which could pour like 3.5 mugs was 6.20 . fuck man. By the end of the night we had 12 bottles and only 5 of us were drinking .
When we started to get drunk , thats when the fun started hahaha
Herman and Duane asked me whats my surname
then i said balachandran . Then herman said . FUCK YOU LA . no original indian name ah , must go and take CHAN from the chinese . FUCK YOU UNDERSTAND herman ! hahahahaha
Then we were talking about lup sup . The last time we went to lup sup , duane was still 14 , and the PRC mei mei asked him how old he was , and he said 14 and she said dont lie la , your so big size like a gorilla how to be 14...HAHA
Then Sam came and she was introduced to Duane . We asked her to guess how old duane was and she was like . same age as us ? Then i said , eh duane . stand up . LOL he stood up and he was like a fucking treebeard man that big friendly giant duane .
Hahaha then the foam from the beer on the table , one it became clear we said it was Duane's semen hahahahahaha 15 years old no sperm very clear like water hahahahahahahaahah.

Then some RI fuckheads walked past and i shouted .. oooooiseh . raffleshians . Then this sibei guai lan kia shouted back oooiseh ac-ians . Wtf . fuck you man wanna say then fucking say properly la. Then marcus was like what did he say what did he say what did he say ? Im gonna punch him . LOL . Then haan shouted something funny , i forgot what sia too drunk . The fucker so guai lan but his face like tio bang by the bus sia hahahaha.
aiseh fuck , then 12 bottles of beer later and 2 broken glasses after , we went home . By this point everything was pretty blur and i dont really remember much .

Today im going to indochine. Too bad boon wasnt' with us yesterday or the LAUGH-factor of this entry would have increased ten fold . Watch out for tomorrow's entry featuring the return of the BOONSTER ( now on doxycline )

thanks for reading
swerly